Values – Grace/Mercy/Forgiveness

Disclaimer: After I wrote my post on loyalty,
I realized that some people may greatly disagree with
the assertions that I made in it.
I want my readers to know that that’s okay.
In fact, I expect it.
Some of my readers may be able to fire back and
say something along the lines of,
“You call it disloyalty when someone
does such-and-such to another person?
But what if…?”
And then they make a valid point about how
my assertion does not always apply.
Again, I expect that, because this blog is about me.
These posts are about my values and about
what they mean to me.
I have taken my life experiences and
determined how I define loyalty,
based upon those experiences.
Everyone has experienced different things.
I recognize that,
so don’t let my writing stress you out
or make you feel badly about yourself.
In fact, I may even be wrong about something.
That’s fine!
Don’t worry about that.
I am just documenting my own journey.

Anyways, I have grouped grace, mercy, and
forgiveness together into one value,
because I think that they are very similar.
They are related in nature,
even if they have different meanings.

Extending grace to someone means that you
take it easier on them than you think they deserve.
Why should you?
Well, for me, it has to do with the tenets of my faith.
For you, it may be something else altogether.
Have you ever been in the situation where
you accidentally slept through your alarm,
spilled coffee on your shirt and had to change,
and then got to the car in your driveway,
just to realize that you had
forgotten your keys inside the house?
You were probably pretty pissed at yourself,
especially since it caused you to fall behind schedule.
Now, imagine that you got to work,
and instead of extending grace,
your boss laid into you about how
“you need to try harder next time.”
He/she might even have said,
“If you really cared about the job,
then you would have figured out how to get here on time.”
Sucks, right?
That’s why I try to extend grace.
You really don’t know how peoples’ days
(or weeks, or months, or lives) are going.
Mercy is similar, in that you feel for them when they
are going through hard times,
and you might even cut them some slack when
they mess up in light of the hard times.
Forgiveness is more well-known.
You forgive people when they commit a wrong
against you, especially if they don’t deserve your forgiveness.
Who gets to decide when forgiveness is deserved, anyways?

Part of being a grown ass woman, however,
is acknowledging when someone else really needs
to own his or her shit,
and especially acknowledging when YOU need to own your shit.
It’s a hard world out there.
You might be quick to become offended
or defensive when someone else criticizes you.
I know that I naturally am.
Are they being harsh, mean, and cold,
or are they just being honest?
If you want to be a grown ass woman
who is successful in her life and career,
then you need to swallow your pride and care
about how other people perceive you.
If they think that you are obnoxious, rude,
stuck-up, prideful, arrogant, etc.,
then it matters, even if they are wrong.
Your success doesn’t thrive upon
who you know you are.
It thrives upon who other people think you are.
You can think that you are all that and a bag of chips,
but that doesn’t matter if the people who matter don’t think that you are.