Emotional Intelligence

I recently picked up the book,
Emotional Intelligence 2.0,
at Barnes and Noble.
The beginning of the book explains what
Emotional Intelligence is and why it is important.

There are two categories to Emotional Intelligence:
Personal Competence and Social Competence.
Within each category are two subcategories.
The subcategories of Personal Competence are
Self-Awareness and Self-Control.
The subcategories of Social Competence
are Social Awareness and Relationship Management.

Self-Awareness describes your ability to
recognize how you come across to other people.
Self-Control describes your ability to respond
to people and situations in a healthy way.
Social Awareness describes your ability to pick
up on other peoples’ behaviors and underlying feelings.
Relationship Management describes your ability
to maintain healthy relationships.

The book comes with an online assessment that
measures your skill levels
with regards to the different parts
of emotional intelligence.
Admittedly, I have known for a long
time that I needed to work on my Emotional Intelligence.
Due to my pride,
I avoided picking up the book for years,
but my recent decision to be an adult
pushed me to buy the book.
I took the quiz,
and I wasn’t surprised by the results.
I have some work to do.

The results suggested that I
work on my Self-Awareness first.
They even went so far as to suggest specific
steps I could take to improve in that area.
They said that I should work on my ability
to be objective in certain situations,
that I should work on living according to my values,
and that I should let myself feel even the nastiest of feelings.
After all, the more you repress your feelings,
the more they’ll come back to haunt you.
Feelings are meant to tell you something.
Having feelings doesn’t make you
emotionally unintelligent.
It makes you human,
and it is what you do with those feelings that counts.

I started by Googling a list of example values.
I wanted to make a list of my own values,
but I didn’t know how to just come up with them on my own.
I found a nice, long, helpful list,
and the following values are the ones that
I felt most resonated with me:
Loyalty, Forgiveness/Grace/Mercy,
Community, Self, Humanness/Dignity,
Patriotism, Truth, Solitude, and Service.
I want to figure out how I can better live
my life according to those values.
I think that I will dedicate a future blog post to
each value so that I can expand upon what they
mean to me.

The other two steps were things that I would
have to work on as challenging situations came up.
My desire to work on being objective has
lead me to consider how I have interpreted
the challenging situations that I have faced.
Have I interpreted them rationally?
Why do I feel what I feel?
Can I let these feelings go?
Most times, I have found that I could, and I did.
I let myself feel what I was feeling,
but I didn’t brood.
I figured out how to respond to these feelings like an adult.
Then I moved on.
Doing this has greatly improved my quality of life in just a week!
I was miserable before, but now I am happy.

All of this has been very empowering.
I love myself more.
I push myself more.
I achieve more.
I am realizing how capable I am.
I can do anything with my life that I want to.

And this is just the beginning.

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